Deal?

Did you see Barack and Donald chatting like two homies at 39’s funeral? There’s woke stars out there right now, still hyperventilating. Someone give those poor bastards some oxygen. Breathe, libs, breathe.

Oh, and we mustn’t forget these same woke stars and atheists and woke atheists taking down their Jesus-loving trees and ornaments and lights and, well, shit, it’s about that time to start poking fun of Jesus again. It’s an annual tradition kind of like, well, kind of like Christmas, except it doesn’t make any sense poking fun of Jesus eleven months a year and putting a tree up every December.

A good looking and buxom Iraqi war vet, slash hard core vegan, slash mom, slash real-life witch, slash can’t stand organized religion, slash someone I really wanted to get in the sheets with anyway (we’re talking buxom) told me once, “It’s the season we celebrate.”  Hmm, I thought, but how do you detach that from Jesus? She was volatile (and buxom) so I kept it to myself. Not that that helped any. I never even got to first base (I mean buxom). An avowed meat eater (bloody and pink in the middle, thank you very much) and an unabashed Catholic, I was purty well screwed from the get go. I suppose her answer is the echo of many atheists who today are including their trees in this week’s yard trash: “It’s the season, ya Christian nut job, it’s got nothing to do with Jesus.” Of course it doesn’t, duh. 

And ain’t it about that time, too, for anyone who’s lesbian or gay or the other letters to arm themselves? Buy a gun. Of course it is. Old Orange is about to reinstate, and all hell’s gonna break loose.  Hate crimes are going to spike. Up and up and up according to a recent Philadelphia Inquirer article. 

Time, too, to root for the country to fail. So everyone on the hard left can say, See, told ya so. 

But guess what?

Things Men Carry’s got your back. Told you told you told you that we do shit different around here, and we do. In case we haven’t already shown that, now’s another opportunity. 

If you remember, Things Men Carry endorsed Trump very hesitantly on the morning of Election Day. Not only that, but we are also very personally invested and impacted by what might or might not happen. We’re gonna get our rich Money Guy in on the conversation soon for a third front, the economy, but let’s focus on two others for now: Education and Veterans Services.

Talk to any woke star and they’ll tell you that Linda McMahon, Trump’s choice for Education Secretary, is gonna come in and fuck everything up. Things Men Carry will call her out if she does. Because the next four years, we’ll be in deep.  My cub and perhaps yours too attends college this coming fall and for the next four years. Federal aid is critical for guys like me who aren’t crushing it like, say, our money guy.

If it’s a shit show, we won’t just know about it. We’ll be living it. We’ll be directly impacted by McMahon’s forecasted ineptitude. Conversely, if it’s not a shit show, and it’s business as usual, or, aid is even fatter, we’ll be writing about that too. We will recognize McMahon in a positive way. And woke stars everywhere will provide the chorus. Deal?

The other front is Veterans Affairs.

I lost my job and, by extension, my health benefits a while back. My health is completely at the mercy of the VA at this point (unless of course I want to pay stupid COBRA). For all the poking fun I do of my uber-woke city, Seattle, the VA system, thanks to very strong championship and advocacy by Democratic Senators Patty Murray and Maria Cantwell is a role model for the rest of the country. I’ll be living testimony if that somehow changes in the next four years, and rest assured I’ll write about it. Deal? 

Did he just say something good about the Democrats back there? 

I did. I am one.

-tmc

p.s. Homies, write to us about how you’re being personally being impacted by our soon-to-be next president, bad or good. It’s exactly what we mean around here when we say “informed.”