How much?

(In response to our Money Guy’s last entry)

Man, you really have it out for 45 and 47, hunh?  I was awfully hesitant voting for him myself in case you hadn’t heard or read that memo.  Look, we’re consummately trying to do shit different around here.  We’re consummate tryers.  That means for starters that while we admitted we voted Trump we’re also watching him closely here.  Gaza. The war in Ukraine. You might be surprised to hear we think Biden handled Russia tougher than our current Pres.  Let no Republican spout out one of their holes how dovish Dems are on Russia ever again. 

What else?  Elon and all that fat-trimming he’s up to? Ayo, Elon, you’re gonna toss that fat right back into our wallets, right? 

And of course what we began talking about just now: prices.  High ones.  They’re a big deal for guys like me.  Almost five dollars for a glass bottle of Coke the other day, are you fucking kidding me? 

I really wanna buy off on your stimulus-increases-demand idea, but I don’t know who the heck you’re talking about.  I got maybe five thousand dollars, but check it out: my hours were reduced.  It was not even close to me breaking even. I lost money during the pandemic.  All those pallets with goodies on them you say were waiting to tie up in port and jump start our economy—not me, man.  And I don’t think for a lot of people either.  Stores and malls–closed. Shit was at a standstill. Even my vanity took a real hit.  I couldn’t get a haircut.  Unless what you’re saying is that people at home in their jammies were still earning their unaffected salaries plus getting all that stimulus, ordering the bejeezus out of Amazon? I’m not seeing it, Bro.

The war in Ukraine driving up fuel prices—now that makes a little more sense why prices drove up, though my cynicism runs deep.  I think there’s plenty of fuel even when one country illegally invades another and hogs up a lot of fuel for its tanks and bomb-toting airplanes.  It’s an excuse. Crisis and emergencies are always excuses to inflate prices (someone say pandemic?) Who tracks oil supply anyway, oil suppliers? There ya go.  But assuming all the experts are correct and I’m full of shit, which is more likely the case, wars do suck up fuel and a lot more than in peace time, therefore shortening the supply for everyone else.  So shouldn’t we back policies that put an end to it? 

On the one hand slurry Joe gets props for standing up to Putin.  On the other, all he accomplished was keeping the war going. And to what end?  Putin really gonna throw in the towel?  Come on, man.

No shit, I met a gal online who, on our actual coffee date, told me stuff.  She was married (check please).  Sexually needy (hold off on the check for just a sec). Desirous of a dance partner ( well, shit, I could stand to learn a few dance moves) Russian (pretty good looking in other words).  Oh, and at that time had just recently lost her son in the war (shit).  What do you suppose happened next?  Of course she threw herself into full censure mode, right?  Had every right to rip into Putin. She didn’t.  Not once.  To quote her, Bro, there’s a lot we (“dumb Americans”) don’t know.  I never did find out what that “a lot” was.  We never danced in or out of the bedroom, so I couldn’t delve. She was a mess, but she taught me a lot about the war by what she didn’t say.

Guess all I’m saying by inviting you to my coffee date is let’s give your pal, Orange, a shot at making a deal. Deals. Ending this war.  Drilling, Baby, drilling and thus increasing domestic production. And ultimately slashing prices at the pump.  We could all use some relief around here.  

We forgot one, too, I think.  The size of 45 and 47’s head.  If he wants to look good, prices gotta come down. And we predict that he wants to look good. How’s that for sound economic policy?

Tell ya what.  Hold off on replying.  We’re gonna conduct regular Trump checks around here.  We think stuff like what we’re talking about should be checked.  Let’s see, what comes from China? Mexico?  Canada? 

Let’s do this:  I’m in the market for a few things.  Gas and food of course, who ain’t.  But I’m also needing some new appliances for my kitchen.  Fridge.  Stove.  Dishwasher.  From Mexico or China, most likely. I’m probably six to eight months out.  So I’ll track the prices on these items, indirectly checking in on the big bad tariffs you’re referring to. Nothing could be less relatable than just a bunch of inflation numbers and indices getting thrown on us.  Where’s the real pain and suffering in that? Let’s do shit different around here. Let’s make these inflation indices more human, more real.  Yeah. Let’s talk real fridges and no-shit dishwashers, and arm and a leg stoves or affordable stoves. That’s how I’m gonna judge his policies and presidency. It’s how we all should, I think.

See you in about three months?

-tmc