Are you effin’ kidding me?

Hey, Dawg. Bye, Dawg.

I mean, that’s kinda how it feels right now. The time that we got here in (too fast). The speed we made (too effin’ fast). The distance covered (are you effin’ kidding me?). What the heck just happened?

(Hold please)

Clearly this is gonna take a minute.

But I need to be happy for you right now. I need to match your excitement level. And I am, I promise. You deserve that from me. You deserve your dad to be happy. Stoked. Excited. Amped. Because, well, you deserve a seat at college. You earned it. With good grades, a strong head on your shoulders, your quiet courage–qualities that bring out the happy tears in your old man. I didn’t quite do the math, but I estimate they about equal the sad ones. Okay, maybe the sad tears are up by a small margin at least for now.

What can I say? I mean, seeing you every day was like I got to unwrap a present everyday, even the quick visits. It just never got old. Your laugh. Just being in Dad’s space.

(Hold please)

And now? And now?!

And now my boy’s leaving for college, holy. He’s got his posters and his mini fridge and his wide-ass grin to prove it. It’s happening. It’s really effin’ happening.

I’ll figure something out, just gimme a sec. Work more. Maybe I might start a little mens club. Been thinking about it for a while now. We’ll see. House is getting there.

Hey, I know: I’ll move close to your school and get a part time job on campus!

I keed I keed.

Anyway, no time to make it about me and my sorry-ass. I’ll be all right. Hey, I’ll maybe even join a cigar club. Tear the truck apart, start rebuilding it. There’s a planter’s box Dad wants to build for out front. I’ll work a little more to smash down my debt. I think I said that already. Part of me really wants me to travel this winter with you. Part of me doesn’t just because if we don’t travel it’s because you walked on to the basketball team. Dad can’t wait to send that email to your naysayers, tell ’em, See, he effin showed you so.

And if it doesn’t turn out that way, it’s okay. It maybe means you get to reinvent yourself. You see how I’m doing it. It ain’t so bad. Dad’s growing. You’ll grow. But eff that; it’s too early for that conversation. Do your best to make the team. I believe in you. I believe in you so much.

Let’s see, what other mountains can your old man move with this here pen, as if–geezus, hold please.

I’m gonna start repeating myself pretty soon. Shoot, this is really hard. Anyway, it’s your hour, Dawg. Your time to discover more about yourself, make new friends, new mistakes.

. . .

I’m tryin’ Dawg.

. . .

When’s parents’ weekend again?