When I think of young, I think of a few things: no responsibilities beyond just taking care of yourself. And if you’re young and bit by the idealism bug, which many are, you’ve got a ton of time to be idealistic and thus maybe even suicidal for your cause. You’ll at least sleep on strangers’ couches, outside, under bridges. Cold feels different to a 20-something than it does–shit, how old am I again? There is no such thing as sleeping out in the cold when you’re young and idealistic.
I would know a little something about this. In my 20’s, I really despised the fact our oceans were getting raped, thanks mostly to the illegal fishing habits of the Japanese and Norwegians. They were out there, slaughtering whales and other marine life. While I didn’t quite have the organizational skills, the salesmanship, the tactical training or, in this case, a ship to do anything about it, I had the passion to sleep out in the cold and serve under someone who did. Paul Watson co-founded GreenPeace until one day he decided they weren’t violent enough. I’d meet him years after he founded the Sea Shepherds. It’s where I’d begin my life at sea. In the cold. In hot, barely ventilated ships’ engine rooms, puking my guts out. I was twenty something, though, and hell-bent on saving our oceans.
If called upon to do so, and if I get bit by the bug ever again, I am now fully qualified to lead a crew of committed eco warriors into battle, say, T-bone a shark-finning boat in open seas. Maybe it’s my last dance I seem to be intermittently obsessing over, but.
But.
I don’t know, I wasn’t there. But I suspect it wasn’t unlike today. You had your gun-slingin’ toughs from the Confederate south who fancied they were all pansies or snowflakes up north, and that it was gonna be a cinch cake walk. Well, shit, we all know how that turned out: the snow-flaky north handed the tough, bad-ass south its’ ass on a platter. Breathe, my hillbilly homies, breathe.
I am here now, though. And in the aftermath of Pete Hegseth’s tough guy speech, I gotta wonder out loud: this guy know anything about his history? How there are plenty right now who seem, anyway, rather predisposed to sleeping in the cold? How all they’re really waiting for is their Mao, their Castro, their Watson. He’s coming. History says so. History says he will galvanize a great chunk of the country, too. Into a state of resistance. Things Men Carry posits that China and Russia would have zero qualms about assisting in that effort, too. If you know what I mean.
So lighten up, Francis, Department of War guy. That goes for the rest of you toughs on my right, too. You who are so jonesin’ on the social media and elsewhere for a fight. Our advice–be careful what you jones for.
Besides, I (we!) got bills to pay. Mortgages! Long overdue vacations! Kids to put through college! Ain’t nobody got time for civil war. Hell, I don’t even have time to ram ships right now.
-tmc
Things Men Carry 