It wasn’t terribly long ago the unctuous Bill Clinton aka Slick Willy occupied the White House, not inhaling; having sex outside of his marriage, yes, okay, but not like sex sex, passing laws and other presidential stuffs; basically governing in a way that, well, shit, he was reelected, wasn’t he?
I wasn’t hugely political back then, but enough to where, like many, I swiftly wrote off Willy’s peccadilloes for the broader, bigger, more important picture. Any Dem’ll tell you one of the principal questions we all circled back to time and time again during (Kenneth) Starr’s and other Republican shit shows designed to bring Willy down was, Who gives a shit what he does with his willy, where, and with whom? Look at what he was trying to do for Haiti, the wealth gap, the former back then being very dear to my twenty-something heart. Even my old-school, very traditional Portuguese grandmother would josh with my grandfather in Portuguese, calling Hilary a dog and, Who wouldn’t sleep around if you were married to that? It sounded a lot better in Portuguese.
Grandma loved boxing on Showtime, too, the bloodthirsty old bat. But she wouldn’t at all side with the angry and emphatically bloodthirsty expensive effort by Republicans to impeach Willy on many grounds, but basically the one that said the White House is a house for the morally upright, not for getting illicit sloppies and thus desecrating the most sacrosanct of public offices; you remember that, homies to my right?
I could ask these same homies, Where do you suppose your “moral” code of old ran off to? And for that matter your traditional hawkishness towards Russia, may as well throw in; who’s giving sloppies now.
But I digress.
It’s not going to make a lick of difference, anyway. You’ll only get mad, defensive, then parry, then sidestep, and bring up a totally unrelated topic to distract. The same way, well–the same way Willy fans did. The same way I probably did. Shit, I think I even gave Willy an air high five when he spoke at my OCS in the late 90’s. Monica was no cao.
Besides that, I did it again. True story: I was an undecided voter this past election. Despite top brass (real men!) coming out in unprecedented numbers against Trump (a 50-year Marine turned Secretary of Defense, cryin’ out loud); despite Jan 6th–treason by anyone’s definition whose blood is properly oxygenated; and I guess more to the point, despite even Stormy, I voted for Trump. Moral code, schmoral code.
Trump after all was going to intervene in capitalism and bring prices down, a socialist move only if the Dems do it. He wasn’t going to fuck with my dinner table. He would put the hard brakes on wokeism. That was enough for me.
The other day, I did something I customarily do. I barged in on a thread among hard-right conservatives on the Facebook. In the past, I would do that just to fuck with ’em. To be fair and accurate, I have dished it equally to the “blue-haired pinkos” on the left, to quote a motorcycle aficionado somewhere in the middle of the country. This time as in before, I had zero confidence I would change any minds and hearts. It’s an inside job, besides.
An inside job that’s happening before our very eyes. The number of public defections of MAGA stalwarts is pretty breathtaking: Candace, Megyn, Tucker, Joe, Dan, the other Joe, Shawn.
Here’s what I wrote Billy on the Facebook: Billy, I don’t think I can keep up with your intellect [after she called me stupid] so I’ll just say this and wish you–US!–luck. You know how when you meet and like someone, then fall in love with them? Your loyalty to that person is unshakable. You go to bat for them even in instances when you don’t really agree with them. Until you can’t anymore. What comes next is, well, you get a divorce. It sucks for a little while, but time heals and you move on. Billy, it’s okay to ask for a divorce. Many MAGA stalwarts such as yourself already have. Hell, as-far-right-as-you-can-get Marjorie has. What, pray tell, do you think she saw to make her want to pull a 180 like that, and ask for a divorce?
Keep on keepin’ on. 👊🏼
It wasn’t enough to change Billy’s mind or heart. She called me stupid again, albeit colorfully with a cartoon of Trump holding on to a Moses-like tablet.
It’s okay, we are. Today we file for divorce. It doesn’t matter in the grand scheme of things why. The fuck we gonna tell you that “pinkos” or top brass or previous loyalists with bigger budgets than us and insider scoops haven’t already?
Nothing.
You too, Willy. Creep.
-tmc
Things Men Carry 